blogging challenge, day 28: only pictures

Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

day 25: truth with love

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget

 (good or bad).

      During my first full-time semester in library sciences, I took a storytelling class. One day we were assigned to tell an Aesop's fable. I am usually not animated at all in front of an audience -- my goal when speaking in front of adults is composure, not to be amusing -- but I made some small gesture during the telling of my story that the teacher, Nyla, noticed. Nyla said something like, "I can tell you are a really private person, but that gesture gave your listeners an idea of how you feel about the fable's characters." 

      This may not sound like anything special, but it was the way she said it. There was no hint of judgment or negativity - just acceptance and affection. If you are like me and usually very reserved, you've probably heard so many times, "You're so quiet!" or "You don't talk much, do you?" all said in

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tones ranging from well-meaning puzzlement to outright dismissal. Our culture seems to value outspoken, outgoing people. Don't get me wrong - I love outgoing people, too (they tend to make fun friends for folks like me). But I've gotten tired of many people assuming that my private nature and quietness are character flaws that need overcoming vs. just something to accept, and maybe even appreciate. 
       This event stands out for me as a teacher, because it reminds me of the importance of truly accepting every student I work with while encouraging them to grow. It's a tough balance to strike, but Nyla showed it was possible.
 

blogging challenge, day 24: at my worst

 Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits.

1. I am a procrastinator. I admire those people who get things before they are due, like the person in my social computing class who posted her final paper A WEEK EARLY while the rest of us were feverishly writing. I think the procrastination stems from avoidant tendencies - if I'm worried or anxious about doing something, I take my mind off it by diddling around Pinterest for an hour. This doesn't help me in the long run, as I lose valuable work time. I've realized lately that being a procrastinator means I have a hard time assessing just how much time I really need to complete a task. I think becoming a teacher has helped me become less avoidant - it's my job to address things that happen in my classroom that aren't helpful, safe or productive - but the procrastination is something I need to work on. Maybe tomorrow. (just kidding!)
2. I own a lot of stuff. And I am disorganized. Mentally, I am not disorganized. It's very easy for me to organize my thoughts to write a coherent essay. Thus, many people I know mistake me as an organized person. But when it comes to physical stuff ... I look at things and am at an utter loss. I own several books on organizing, but have never really gotten around to implementing their principles (see number 1). One of the biggest challenges for me in becoming a teacher was having to not only organize myself, but to organize a shared physical space for students to use as well as providing the tools and procedures to organize students' personal spaces (desks, cubbies, etc). Yikes. I made huge improvements in this from my first year of teaching to my second, both for me and for the students. But it's still something I struggle with in life in general. I keep wondering whether there is an actual condition called "disorganizia" that I am afflicted with that scientists will uncover sometime soon, and that they will then begin devoting millions of research  dollars to solving. I'd volunteer to participate in a trial. ;)
3.  I can be my own worst critic. I have high expectations of myself and can feel crummy when I don't meet those expectations. I've gotten a lot better at questioning any self-criticism that arises and trying to look at it from a different angle, but I still think I put a lot of pressure on myself. I don't think having high expectations is all bad -- I've achieved a lot and am very motivated to build on my strengths and learn from my mistakes due to this trait. One of the biggest things I've learned is that mistakes can be constructive, if approached the right way. But now that I'm 35, I'm realizing how important it is for me to stop getting in my own way and to practice complete self-acceptance.

     It was interesting to write this, because I didn't expect that all my worst traits would be intertwined, but they are. Yay for a little self-knowledge gained through the challenge! :)

blogging challenge, day 23: life's lessons

Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

•  The beauty of failure. Failure sucks, but it can teach you and open new doors - if you let it. To benefit fully from your failures, however, you need to own them, and keep on owning them - even when you're successful.
• Find an avocation. Find something you truly love - something that challenges you, makes you happy, and keeps you excited. It's a great way to continue learning and growing and can be an excellent way to meet interesting people, too.
• There are mentors all around you. The older I get, the more amazed I am at how people, in various settings and at various times, have emerged as inspirations and mentors. Some mentors have only been in my life for a semester; others have been a presence for more than a decade. Some mentors I've gotten to know personally; others I've gotten to know purely by observing how they interact with others in the classroom or other settings. It's comforting to realize that there are so many people out there with knowledge and wisdom who are willing to share it and encourage you along your path.

blogging challenge, day 20: struggling yet grateful

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

       Something I'm struggling with right now is that while I just graduated with my master's in library science, there are no jobs and it's back to the classroom next year. There are many things that I enjoy about being a classroom teacher, but it's still frustrating for me to not have my dream job. I know in previous years every graduate who already had their teaching license landed a school library job after graduation, but I think the field has reached its saturation point. 

       During the 2008-2009 school year, I had the amazing opportunity of subbing for an elementary school librarian for almost the entire year, and I still consider that one of the happiest years of my life.  Connecting children with the wonders of books and information is my passion, and I believe it's something I could be skilled at one day, with enough experience. 

       It's also frustrating to me that the school I used to work at has chosen to have someone without a library sciences degree run the library. There are exponentially fewer library jobs than teaching jobs, and this situation makes clear to me that some administrators do not see the importance of having a trained librarian. Some schools have even eliminated the position. One school I know of has two part-time teachers (both with no library training) running the library. A librarian is more than a person who checks out and reshelves books and reads stories; a librarian is a teacher, collaborator, leader, and resource. Going through the library program helped me realize how important it is that librarians advocate for both the library and the unique skills and understandings librarians bring to a school.

          While I'm disappointed, I am focusing on my blessings. I'm thankful that I am a tenured teacher and have a job. I am laying the groundwork for improvement - I made a number of improvements from my first year of teaching to my second, and am excited about further working on my weak points. I know this experience, ultimately, will only make me a  better librarian. I know that many of the skills I learned in the library program can help me be a better classroom teacher, particularly one professor's emphasis on assessment. 

blogging challenge, day 14: 10 things

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy.

My list, in no particular order: 

1. Taking photos.

2. Being by myself. This isn't to say that I don't enjoy and need to spend time with family and friends, but I equally cherish those moments when I'm walking by myself through a botanical garden, with a camera slung around my neck. When I lived in California, on occasion I'd enjoy eating out for breakfast or lunch alone, with just my journal or a book for company. 

3. Aikido, and the fact that I've persisted in my studies for more than 10 years now.

4. Working with children.When I started working in a school, funnily enough, I didn't want to become a teacher.

5. Having just about the best family ever. This isn't to say they don't have quirks, but they're all-around good folks (although I may be biased?) ;)

6. Chocolate, desserts, sweets, ice cream ... I've got a major sweet tooth. Right now I'm crazy about the brownie brittle they sell at Sam's Club - it's dangerously good.

7. Cooking and baking. They're such beautiful ways to be creative everyday.

8. A cup of coffee in the morning. All's right with the world when I can start my morning with a hot cup of coffee with a liberal dose of almond milk and sugar.
9. Fresh flowers.
10. Books, and libraries.

blogging challenge, day 12: what I miss {link}

       A while back, I started a "serious" blog, which I have since then diligently neglected. To remedy that, I'm going to be posting some of the Blog Every Day in May challenge posts there. This one is just about the hardest thing I've ever written, but I'm glad I did. Check it out if you'd like.

day 9: traveling together and alone

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

Heading out the door, 5:30 a.m.

   
     Even for a non-morning person like me, there's something special about waking up with the sun. Two times a week, I wake up early to attend aikido class. It amuses me that when I was working, the earliest I could bear to get out of bed was 5:45 a.m.,while now I consistently get up 45 minutes earlier for something non-work-related. I think that's the key here: there's a sense of play and choice, not work and obligation. This is not to say that studying a martial art is play - it's a lot of hard work, frustration, and discipline. But at the same time, a special kind of camaraderie grows between people who choose to spend time together on the mat. We all first step onto the mat for different reasons - some are seeking spiritual guidance, some are seeking self-defense techniques, and some, like me just about a decade ago, aren't sure what they're in search of -- the search is the point. While we are all looking for something different, we are traveling along the same path (the "do" in aikido can be translated as "path" or "way"), and that's something worth waking up early for.

my two cents: day 8 blogging challenge

    I'm excited to participate in the Blog Every Day in May challenge put together by Jenni of Story of My Life.  (Yeah, I know I'm a week late to the party, but there was a little something called a 20-page final project that I was furiously working on last week.)

Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

•      Don't just talk about how much money you're saving, but quantify it and make sure to pay yourself. For instance, a lot of people talk about how much money they save by packing lunch. That always makes me wonder: are they putting the money away so they know they're really saving it? How do they know that the $5 they saved from packing lunch on Tuesday wasn't blown on a grande soy chai and so-so scone at Starbuck's on Wednesday? 

                This is where automatic deposit can make life easier. When I was working full time, buying lunch at school would cost me about $5. I'd strive to pack lunch 3 times a week, so I estimated that I was saving $15 a week. I set up my bank account so that a day or two after I got paid, I would have the last two weeks' or month's saved lunch money automatically moved into my savings account. (I know making home lunch isn't really free, but unless you're eating filet mignon for lunch, you are probably not spending $5 per day).

•        I know I already said this, but it bears repeating: automatic deposit is your friend. I've been working part-time at best for the last two years, but I resolved to have $30 a month diverted to one of my investment accounts. (Some investment accounts require that you invest a bigger sum, like $100 a month, but Vanguard is great because it allows you to choose smaller amounts.) It was immensely satisfying to open my year-end statement and see the tangible effects of consistently putting aside that $30. I didn't miss the money at all, and over the long term I made a decent investment in my financial future. Not gonna lie, I might have looked a little like this (just imagine that he's holding a year-end statement instead of a coin):

Source: thecampuscompanion.com via Carrie on Pinterest